Feeling Strongly ...

In these times of uncertainty generally in work, life and perspective; at times I find it so difficult to feel strongly about something and stay that way. I feel torn, worn and mostly spent on things that don’t matter much in the grander scheme of life. Weird as the feeling maybe it’s mostly exhilarating to find something that moves me so much as to wanna pen it down. Today I think about all the things that move and excite me but nothing compares to the feeling and adrenaline rush that THOUGHT brings more than the stimulant.
It’s this feeling that I want a daily dose of – anything a song, a poem, words, a touch or a smile or just the sight of my favorite things or the THOUGHT of these that keep me reliving the moments. It makes the very last hair on body stand with a chill down my spine and this cool current on the back of my neck as though someone’s breathing and running their fingers down my neck. It’s the exact feeling I replicate on various occasions and that’s what’s so addicting that I can't get enough of it.
So what do I do!! Well I at anytime do exactly wat I feel… at work I think of things that are so stimulating that a good 30 -45 mins go in just getting high till its gone again and I get back to the drag of work with a clearer head and better perspective to stuck up work.
I don’t need screwed work for me to want the high… sometimes for the pure joy of it I can go into my trance and get clearly happier than before and so relaxed.
The things that give me the high are Songs, Poems, a Voice, The joy of words being typed crazily on a typewriter, hands on clay, eyes playing with each other, stationery and books, whistling trees and wind rustling leaves, silence when we’re under the stars, ur smile that lights ur face up, the rain, snowy roads, cooking, and well this list is long long long….
This is why I thought what better to write about today than the fact that wat I’m doin right now is giving me a certain high though if seen from a third perspective would look as wasting a good 30 mins on personal work in office but this is gonna make me alive…
I don’t like letting a good thought pass by without experiencing it totally so I write when I want to and sing when I feel like and say wat I want to when I mean it and the rest is just a chain reaction… a spontaneous impulsive reaction to all that is thrown back till I am satisfied with the tussle between me and the thought and we’re back to our original state!
I have no clue how much of this you will get but do I care! Frankly I don’t give a rat’s arse cos this typing’s making me so dizzy that I’m already high on words and I have no reason to use the friggin backspace key as this is just flowing into something that will keep me a lil high for quite some time!
I’ve begun it ..i can see… ur infected aren’t u??? U wanna be here with me too don’t u…in this state… well u already are!! U don’t need to close ur eyes u can feel the blood rush and its beginning….
Well enjoy this darlings! Its gonna be a lovely evening!