The way I Are

I know why I am the way I am…
Its not for u to see… its not for me to show…

It struck me today why I am really this way. There are so many things I haven’t discovered about myself that it would be totally unfair to let a total stranger be burdened with the expectations of someone who doesn’t know what she wants or is capable of attaining. They say GOD (yes! I’m not an atheist … just not ritualistic) works in mysterious ways and well everything that happens, happens for good.
Unless one knows what they can or cannot do or should or shouldn’t give up they shouldn’t jump on decisions. Every lesson one learns makes them stronger and a lil wiser in treading much more carefully and not hurting oneself and others involved in their lives at the various stages and phases they go through.
I totally believe everyone is responsible for all that they do, say or have and at any point if “shit happens” its all one’s fault or doing only. No outsider can be blamed or thrashed with the crap that you urself got into. Also it’s pretty likely that if u don’t know what u truly deserve and need then your bound to make mistakes and well humanly blame ;) someone else for it.
It’s just that I feel every once in a while a self appraisal is good and needed. You need to know what u need and what u want and whether they together make sense… it’s like the perfect blend of music an lyrics. It’s also whether u deserve what u want and whether what u want deserves you. Maybe you’d get better maybe you wont… at the end of the day it’ll be exactly what you need.
I just resigned from my current job and realized that it’s not because I hated my job or anything, its because I realized I deserved more and that THAT MORE deserved me.
Similarly a lot of people deserve more than they have and well those who don’t deserve compensate for it in other ways. What goes around comes around so I know for sure that atleast smiles, khoob saara pyar evum chumiyan are only on their way back along with the very witty sarcasm I have been throwing at people and the general taunts :) so well I’m ready! Gimme your best shot and I’ll take it all down with a pinch of salt and a huge smile on my face coz that’s one thing that’s always gonna be mine :)