Gender Bender

In an age where men are boys and women have lost their inner girls, we strive to become stronger as people in terms of status, money and all the other materialistic attributes.
Somehow we’ve lost the basics in this rush to grow up and prove our mettle. Competition with colleagues, siblings and the world in general to establish one’s own has made us lose out on the smaller pleasures of life.
Let’s begin with the basic stuff….
Men and Women no longer fit the images in our head. The new age woman, as the term has been coined, is this female who has tremendous strength mentally and the will to convert all her dreams to reality. She somehow has not only convinced herself but the world in general that she is of some super human power to protect her naïve and gentle image as a home maker and also change roles to become this major career woman tackling all sorts of tasks physically and mentally. She has managed by her actions and words to overcome all barriers and in this fight has conveniently ignored the finer things in life… she has lost her innocence and sometimes even the gleam in her eye. This woman we’re talking about is not just your top class executives but the very ordinary middle class train-traveling metropolitan-ite that I’ve grown up watching. She wakes up early to be a good “housewife” and cook and clean and wash her kids up only to find herself running to catch the VT / Churchgate fast to work where she faces mostly this male superior who is only wondering as too why she comes to work when she can sit quietly at home and be a “housewife” (in quotes because no one realizes that it takes more out of a woman to be this than work and come home…most often used in a derogatory manner) than rather hog up a seat where he probably thinks another able “man” would fit! The more she pushes to work and justify her position the more he resists and the more the image in his mind is distorted. This very reason of distortion then brings about this really weird change in the man. He begins to feel as though he isn’t good enough and she is trying to take away from him the only thing he can or rather will prove to be good at… his DOMAIN,… his JUNGLE! He, the Come-of-Age Man, has lost his wildness and readiness to take up challenges only to fear the female counterpart to over shadow him. He probably feels that she hasn’t given up her domain (the home) and has now ventured out into his to overpower. He won’t think of it as a gesture of help or one that shows she wants to share the load. He dint ask her to share it now did he??? And this gesture is never obviously interpreted as “I’m sharing ur load ...can u help me out with mine?” Obviously its asking too much of him to help! He has a family to run! In all this Men are filled with disgust and have this standoffish trait that only makes it difficult for them to peacefully coexist! He doesn’t realize in all this he has lost his gift of being MALE… he has unconsciously given up his scepter when no one asked him too! Instead of taking up the challenge he has begun to sulk and become petulant! He at times now wishes he dint have to stand around and watch Her rule, what’s been his for ages, the way she does, which obviously isn’t the right way according to him, so he doesn’t bother to even HELP… and mind u this is his own kingdom . Somehow with one swoop now everything is bestowed upon her with the ever increasing expectations to serve better at home too just as a final attempt to try and get her back. What ever happened to the old school of thoughts… u come into my domain and I fight you to keep it with me… Fight… here in reference a mental struggle to prove that you’re better at what has been yours since time endless… do that… its all yours … she didn’t really want it in the first place. I feel once that happens and they generally get the feeling that they are meant to do only this and this should be theirs… a feeling of OWNERSHIP and some POSSESSIVENESS to what has been given as legacy to them then things will be easier on the both! Once a man realizes that all that is HIS needs to be constantly fought for and his skills made better to keep this his then he retains his manhood. Similarly when a woman realizes the power she holds and uses it well to nurture herself and the family(what ever she calls family) she has for its betterment she keeps her innocence and glow. The tables have turned that the general basic instinct in both have died… neither are themselves and neither agree they’re not.
A few minor changes in the way of thought and I guess we’re back to have our Men like we used to Love and they get their Women as the sort they’d love to woo!!!

Love, remember?

I wish I’d live a life of no regrets
Everyday a perfect sunset!
Each day passes and I get all from it
Still it’s as though there’s something left
People pass by and I notice you
You stop and I know u’ve noticed me too
We move on as so the world does
Backward glance and forward moves
Smile on my lips and hope in my heart
I go on for the remainder days on the chart.
Etched in my memory a face somewhere
But alas tomorrow is another day!

[P.S. For a friend who probably feels this way due to current circumstances! I know It'll be alright in the end .... To better things and people for u my friend.... always here for u]

Love Actually

Been noticing this couple since a long long time now and wondering wat the hell were they thinking when they decided to tie the knot!!! And I seriously keep wondering that if they dint find each other then where would they be??? The weirdest thing is that I find this answer in the weirdest places... places where u know it will be it wont really show up... and then when there’s no one around there u see it gleaming in their eyes and then you say “aaahhhhh this is what I want or rather want for the one” .It’s a feeling...yeah I know u know this but I’ll tell u how I came to realise where it really lies.

So he’s an average hard working individual and she’s an average working woman who met at work and well just like any slick man he won her after quite a few one liners and constant persuasion and a wit like none I’ve seen so far. He said he’d be all she ever needed and well she believed him. He loved her and she finally realised she did so too. It took a few months, a lotta patience, a few broken bones and some cooking skills to get them together and ofcourse the gift of the gab that the gentleman was blessed with ;). After all this they took their vows and pledged a lifetime of togetherness. Its definitely not a smooth journey .... its life for heaven sake...when was it supposed to be a cakewalk... its just not a bed of roses. So just like every person they had their ups and downs and trust me enough that most couples now a days would just give up and let go and take their separate ways... I’ve seen most take the easy way out too... but not them. Supporting one another when no one around did and in all this one would think love’s lost for sure and well there were times that I guessed even they questioned its existence but every ray of hope showing better times brought them right back to the day they met and the love just happened all over again...over and over and over. After years of toiling on homeground he decided to venture out seeing that things could be managed here at home. She still thought he cant be by himself and accompanied him in all he did ... some trying times. Its been 25+ yrs and they still went for their evening walks and talks everyday. Then came that day when this could not happen too but still she sat by him reading the news or whatever they could do together. There are times when the whole scene turns into a battlefield of words and general backlash and even namecallin and even at the end of that day they manage to crack some stupid joke and have dinner peacefully. She’s currently out on a trip and just the other day I called to check on them and I heard “its alright she’d be home soon” And the voice on the phone seemed so hopeful and filled with joy that she’s havin a nice time with her school kids somewhere and yet convincing me that he’s ok and anyways all he needs is her.

Thats when I realised I need this...someone who is not just the Mr charming but someone who misses me just because he cant live without me and still keeps it real. You find love in the strangest places and its all about moments like these that give u glimpses of that piece of heaven u want!

[P.S Mummy is obviously something to still keep that fire alive in Dad. Dad definitely still has his way with the Girl!!!!]